Yesterday night I got a visit from Dr. Kat. She tired to mind-f**k me. I may or may not have needed it but still Dr. Kat pisses me off. (For those who do not get the reference Kat was acting like Dr. Phil.) (I hate Dr. Phil.) (I hate therapist.) (Think about it. It is made up of two words. The and rapist.)
So yeah KS has a boyfriend. She moved maybe two weeks ago and has a boyfriend. That she didn't tell me about. And the only reason I figured out she had one was because she had this picture up of him and her. He isn't that cute and she barely knows him. The not being cute part doesn't bother me because it is what she likes but i don't like the fact that she barely knows him. He sent her a shirtless pic and when I asked about him she sent it to me. Um... I don't want to see your boyfriend with no shirt on. And I cleared up the lie with her that I wasn't gone, but i probably still wont be able to go. I don't know.
This is why Dr. Erin came out. I ranted to her and KAt decided to use some stupid metaphor to solve the problem. I hate her when she pulls out her Doctor. So yeah.
I realized something last night about KS and I's friendship. Ever since that night (yes i typed that in italics) I have been picking apart everything she does and our entire friendship. Things that didn't use to bother me as much are bothering me a whole lot. Kat asked me if I could just move forward and forgive her but I don't think I can right now. It's like this. She put me through this really hard time and then just comes back and doesn't apologize or even talk about it. She just expects everything to go back how it used to and you just cant do that. You tried to kill yourself. I don't think she actually realizes what she did. I don't know. It is like a dram she had in her head. You don't recover from that like it was nothing. And you just can't ask me to forget it like it was nothing when your mother called me and cut off all communication with me and you decided to take out your anger on Facebook. We don't just bounce back from this That's not something that can happen. I need you to talk to me about it. Don;t just ignore it and sweep it under the rug. And I already know I should be telling her all of this but I don't think I can. I know this will probably bring back Dr. Kat but whatever. I am not going to tell her this. At least not right now. It's one of those things you say but never do. Its an unwritten letter to her. That is actually a good idea. Hmmm...
Anyways so I went to sleep and woke up at like the a** crack of dawn. Super early. My little sisters were not even up and they all are real good morning people, well except for one. So yeah.
So i was determined to go to the library today. But yeah. Let me tell you. I got dressed and ready and did my hair and could not find my library card. I looked everywhere for it and tried to retrace my steps but the last time I was at the library was a long timer ago. So yeah. And I couldn't find it and this is my second library card. I am really bad at losing things. I am currently on my 5th or 6th pair of glasses I cant remember the actual number. So yeah. I don't know where I put it and will just end up getting another one. Sucks.
And noe we are out of Cheez-It's. We have no more. -_-
Yeah I am upset about that.
So right now I having an off day. And I am about to go babysit for my aunt who has 4 kids so i suspect it to get worse or better. I don't know. Whatever.
Okay there has been this good thing though. I read this story like maybe a year ago and there was this part that made me smile like I won the lottery. And then I lost it. But I found it again today.
It is a love story, so don't judge or anything. I know I said I don't believe in love but just about every story out there is a love story or whatever. And this wasn't a love triangle or anything. It was a regular love story. Between two people. And both of them are messed up. She watched her father die trying to save her and he was forced to sit and watch his parents die from a disease.
She doesnt want to date him\, but he is presistent. And he had led her away from the crowd (they were at a party) and was trying to convince her to go out with him and he said these four words that I love so much.
He said, "We could be extroidinary."
Talk about me all you want but him saying that was like the best part of that story. It's the only reason I looked for it again. That right there was awesome.
So anyways I started this post about two days ago but never finished it because I had to go do some stuff.
So I went to church for my church anniversary and the choir was singing. This lady wa leading the song and just could not sing it. And you know how the choir starts to clap when someone does good, well yeah these people were clapping to hide her mistakes.
Kat said something about how I shouldn't focus on that but whatever.
So today was my Grandmother's BBQ. It was fun and stuff. But my father just up and left out of nowhere. Like okay now dude.
So yeah. Saw a crapload of cousins and aunts and uncles and people. So yeah.
So right now my head hurts super bad. I can't fall asleep or find any medicine so yeah. I'm up reading and finishing this post.
Yeah I am about to go. I'm pretty sure later this week I am going to do an entire post dedicated to KS. I don't know.
I just sneezed and my head got worse.
Ugh, kill me now.
Only 8 more days of school left!!!!! This includes semester exam day.
MusicalLover
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