My Childhood

So Kat wrote me a not telling me about her childhood and stuff so I thought I would do it to. I wrote this all out and stuff so yeah...

So maybe I am a bad person. My moral compass is a little screwed. I could blame it on my childhood since it was kind of screwy. My father used to date this women that stole everything she had ever gave me. The gifts were awesome though. I got all the Barbie's and Bratz's I wanted. My mother used to date a man who abused us and made me hate Barbie's by having them locked in the vents and recording his voice so it made it seem like the Barbie's were saying "help me Aleysa." Yeah I still remember that. I also remember my mom crying in the school hallway. Then I was taken out of class , the very day we were going to finish this story. I still don't know how the book ended. I don't even remember the book. I was taken to a hospital by my aunt and uncle because my brother had been burned. I remember hearing the screams the night before and not being able to do anything because I was locked in my room in the dark with nothing but a bag of organes thrown at me. I remember being afraid of the dark and to this day it still creeps me out a little. My mother was sentenced to a year in jail and she was to have no contact with me or any minor for two years. She was to never have me live with her again. Child abuse charges are a bitch. My brother stayed with my aunt so he could finish therapy and I was sent to live with my father who didnt have a job or a place to live. We stayed with my grandparents and my aunt who to this day still lives with her. Remember that house your father and stepmother picked me up at, yeah my grandparents used to live there before we movied. It looked much different then.When my brother came to live with us my father had to find a place to live and a job. He was already dating my stepmother so they movied in together. Every summer I would up North and visit my family and my little brother who has a result of my mother and our abuser, but I love him. My social worker was always excited to see me.

Most of my childhood is a blue. I remember certain events. Times that were either happy or sad. I wasn't one of those kid who went to DisneyWorld or Land. We didn't have family picnics in the park. We more or less just got by. I have never had a lot of money and most of the things I own were either very very very on sale or hand-me-downs. But I was okay.

My life now is pretty good. I don't really mind not having a phone because I remember a time when I didn't have a home. It is when I see my father wasting money on things he wants when he could be getting the things we need. I think he forgot he used to live in his car.

The choices I make and the life I live are not products of my childhood. They are products of what I ahve learned over the years. So many people have came and went through my life, either causing chaos or placing that real smile on my face. Everyone always says that I smile a lot, most of the time those smiles are fake. The people that smile the most are the ones that hurt the most.






Whether it's the sunshine
Whether it's the rain
Doesn't make a difference
Till you complain
Whether it's the water comin' in from the roof
Does it piss you off
That you're not waterproof?

Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up

And you hate the silence
As it fills up the room
And there's not much to say
To your blushing groom
Maybe all eyes are on you
As you finish the race
And the world sees you struggling
For last place

Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up

Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
Whether you get up
Whether you get up

"Whether You Fall" - Tracy Bonham

I think it applies in this situation, so yeah.





MusicalLover