'Sup with you

I was having a really good day. I found a chocolate bar. I wrote an interesting poem. I found out that one of my series has a new book coming out in January. I update my GoodReads profile and gosh is my want to read list long. 

But then I got in World History and my mood died. I don't like the people in the class. It's a lot of loud, ghetto, annoying people. All they go is talk and gossip. And them they wonder why they don't understand. My head started to hurt and I really wanted to throw up. 

I don't even know what happened. I just didn't feel good, but I had to stay after school for book club (which only four people showed up by the way).

I think it was because of Kat. Not trying to blame her for anything but I don't know. I brought up something that has been bothering me at lunch and could sense it gong downhill. Or my attitude or whatever. So in an earlier post she said something along the lines of us not being friends in senior year. I don't remember exactly what she said and really don't feel like looking it up so yeah. 

It kind of hurt to hear that you know. But I do see what she was talking about. Our entire complex has shifted a little bit. We still have a lot of stuff in common, but people grow. We haven't really talked just the two of us like we used to. We usually have people around us and when we are alone there is a teeny tiny bit of awkwardness. Not a lot, but its still there. 

I just think we need to get back on track. I mean everyone is stressed and trying to get stuff done. We barely see each other at school and after school there are clubs, homework, family, and other things. 

I don't know.

What I do know is that my friends are really important to me. They are like my family. Losing any of them would hurt. Losing Kat would hurt a little more because she has been in my life for the second longest time. I tend not to have friends fr a very long time. A school year and maybe the next we talk but not like we used to, I usually make new friends. 

I've made new friends both this year and last year but my main friends have been the same since 7th and 8th grade. 

Kat's really fun. She's creative, sarcastic, and funny. And she is really smart and dedicated when she wants to be. Her ideas on certain things are quirky and different. She's nice to everyone all the time even when she shouldn't be. She doesn't have a mean side. She's a really good friend. 

And sometimes I'm a really bad friend. 

MLover