Epiphany-worthy book

I don know if youve ever read The Fault in our Stars by John Green. But it is such a good book and if you haven't, then you are missing out big time. I have never met a book that challenged me more in my mind and in my heart.
Let me just summarize it for you. A girl named Hazel and a boy named Gus fall in love and they have cancer and it is not like, My Sister's Keeper I hate to say it but it is so much better than that. And there is a movie bu I am so scared to watch it because if they ruin the book for me I will hurl somebody off my patio. it is that good.
Read it.

KatCentral

Bless the Broken Road

So I'm laying in bed reading and just waiting to go to sleep; my iPod is on shuffle, and Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts comes on. 

Yes I like country music. 

I really love this song. The lyrics mean so much. While many people look at this song and think of their boyfriend or girlfriend out their spouse I just think of important people in my life. 

My childhood wasn't the best. I don't believe in love between spouses but I do believe in the love of a family or a friendship. And yes there is a difference. And while my childhood hasn't been the best I'm not blaming anyone for it. 

Well not anyone that matters. 

So listening to this dog I think of all the people in my childhood who put me down, hurt me, or just didn't believe in me and I think about the people in my life now who support me, an accept me for who I am. 

I'm not the easiest person to like. I have walls ten feet tall made of steel an reinforced. So just knowing that there are people willing to try is amazing and those who have gotten behind the wall is even better. 

Don't ask me why in being all sentimental and emotional. The story I'm reading is... I'm blaming it. But it's deep, man it's deep. 

Kay I'm going to sleep. 

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

(Yes He did)

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Yeah.

Now I'm just rolling home

Into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

Music/Helios

Helios by The Fray was released yesterday. This album is really good. I already love Hurricane and Love Don't Die but this entire album is actually really good and just Ah....

Shadow and A Dancer is probably the best song off of that album to me. I love the music in the background and the lyrics are beautiful.

Of course there are other songs but I really love Shadow and A Dancer.

My computer is broke so I can't load any of the music onto my iTunes account therefore it is not on my iPod which makes me sad. I downloaded this app that lets you load songs onto it but you can only have 20 before it says you have to upgrade. Upgrading cost money and I will not be doing that but I did get the album on the app. I have been playing it on repeat along with a couple of other songs.

Oh and I am in love with Daley. If you haven't heard him then go listen. He brings back R&B. His voice is awesome.

I'm typing this class and I actually have something to do so I am going to get back to that now.
Cya peoplez!

Hello old friend

Do you remember when

We would float on the summer wind

And fall back to earth again

Hello love

Remember that touch

That skin on skin rush

Sweeping after both of us

Like a shadow and a dancer

We were looking for the answers

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know the summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

We have stayed

Like the Cascade Mountain range

And Pacific Ocean waves

Some things never change

And it’s you and me

And our bodies are a memory

We’re turning ever so slowly

In the candlelight trembling

Like a shadow and a dancer

We were looking for the answers

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know the summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

No, we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

A shadow and a dancer

We are looking for the answer

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Oh, we’ve never

Shadow and a dancer

Looking for the answer

MusicalLover

Are We Serious

My father and stepmother have been fighting for the past hour. 

It's extremely loud and there stomping around and slamming doors. 

I am so done right now. I really hope my little brother and sisters are sleep. I swear to gosh I can hear them over the music I'm playing. And I have earphones on. 

My room is right next to there's and just ugh. And they keep moving around. I can hear them from the living room. It's really starting to piss me off. I already have a hard time going to sleep and not this. 

It's almost 2 in the morning!!!!!!! 

Just ugh, whatever. It's not like it I can go out there and say anything. 

To: Mother

I am so sick of people making me feel worthless! I just... don't even want to be here! Especially with you!!!! Just leave me alone!

!!!!AHHH!!!!!!

KatCentral

The (insert-gender-here)friend factor

     So yeah I'm video blogging now apparently. If you watch the first one you'll realize why I started. Even though I like the 2nd one more. Thats where I started getting the handle on my sparkling wit. Ha-ha. But watch them, they're funny. Especially the 2nd one.
     Okay!
     So what I really want to talk about is the boyfriend-girlfriend factor? That's what I call it anyway. Because the gf/bf factor is where your entire relationship changes with a person whether it be platonic or romantic and it's all because of a significant other. This hasn't happened to me, yet,
but it totally could.
      Because, say... your friend gets a girlfriend or boyfriend. Then they suddenly start straying from YOU because they want to spend time with their significant other. It starts as blowing you off once or twice at the movies to help their person with homework or whatever. Then they stop making plans with you altogether which at first is fine until you realize that the other person is all your former best friend thinks about. Which would suck. I call this phase 2 of the factor

     And then the other factor in the gf/bf factor (phase 1) is when you become the bf or gf and then your best friendship that was purely platonic in the beginning is suddenly romantic and you know you are doing the right thing because you love this person in more-than-a-friend-way but then everything slips. Because it used to be, he could sit with his friends that you don't really like some days and you could sit with yours that he's not crazy about but now everyone expects you to ALWAYS sit together so now you do and suddenly you run out of subjects because you can no longer talk about your other friends because there are no other friends which in turn becomes phase two. And now you're always together so each of you knows every little thing about each other and there is no new anything. See? It's a whole thing.

But then theres the exception in which case the best friend and best friend are still best friends while one of the best friends has another person and it's all okay.
And then the other exception is when you and your best friend start being more than friends and it was indeed a match made in heaven so it all works and his friends are your friends and vice versa and life is happy forever like those original Disney movies.

KatCentral

Kat Central Take #2

Kat Central Take #1

Okay

So I got a couple of things to talk about really quick. I'm reading this story and just a lot is happening right now. 

So earlier me and some of my friends were having a conversation in line talking about stuff and we ended up talking about Army personnel. More about their looks but I do want to clarify something. 

Looks are a thing for me. Not a huge thing but a thing nevertheless. They can't be butt ugly. Seriously. You have to be attractive in my eyes. 

But I have a thing for Army personnel and firemen. More about the Army personnel though. A lot of my family is in the Army and yes I know, trust me I know that some of these men come back damaged both mentally and physically. But they are so brave for going in there in the first place. Not many people would do that. And the women who do it are beyond amazing in my eyes. 

So for me I really look up to Army personnel. And they all have to be fit so I like that. I don't really know, but I know that I really like them and not just for their looks. I like their bravery and I remember those shows they show them surprising their wives and children coming home. It's the cutest thing ever. 

God, I have a heart. It's not completely frozen. 

Semi-laugh. Then a sigh. 

So Pretty Little Liars. Just... Yeah.

***Spoiler Alert***

Look for the * to know the end. 

Let me tell you about this shit. 

I swear I was having a heart attack. The entire show. 

So Spencer is strung out on this drugs that she has no business taking and she's convinced the other Liars, well everyone but Aria, that Ezra is A. 

No offense but I don't believe, could never believe that Ezra is A. I just can't. 

So anyways Ezra says some weird shit to her and freak her out and then Ezra gives Aria Spencer's folder from school showing that she used to abuse drugs. Not like cocaine or anything but stuff for ADHD because it keeps her alert and awake so she can focus.

So instead of having an intervention for Aria about Ezra they end up having and intervention for Spencer about these drugs. So they think Spencer is strung out and crazy so they don't really believe her when she starts spouting off about Ezra setting her up and Aria defiantly didn't believe her when she said Ezra is A. 

So we move along and Spencer sets up a plan to get A to come to her. 

But Aria is talking to Ezra and he's trying to convince her that she should tell Spencer's parents about the drugs. So then he says something about Spencer going off the handle by just seeing a dead body with a helmet and a tattoo. That was never released in the news so Aria caught him in a lie. 

So she goes to the cabin and gets the password to the security system wrong so it alerts Ezra but she gets in and finds the trap door to the little room that he had set up down there but then it's empty. So she picks up this book and the inside is carved out and it hold this manuscript that kinda straight out says he knows Alison and he dated her. So then he gets to the cabin and Aria runs. Oh my gosh, so then she gets to this Ski lift and she gets on it but Ezra is quick and she locks them both in on accident and she crying and asking questions. 

So Ezra comes clean saying he knew Ali and he knew who Aria was when he met her and how he used her at first. But of course he says I fell in love with you, my feelings are real. I never lied about my feelings. Ezra is balling and she pulls out his book talking about how she's gonna read it from cover to cover. So then they scramble for it and they drop it in the woods cause their on a ski lift. 

All while this is going on Spencer's plan which was to draw A out by releasing a little information and dressing up as Ali coming to get money. But Ezra is with Aria so when someone shows up its like woah. Someone who was Ali but it wasn't Spencer. 

So anyways Mike and Mona which is just ugh and just. 

Back on the ski lift Ezra talks about how he knows all of this because he was writing a book about Ali. He's been investigating and digging because he's writing a crime novel. He even knows that she's alive. It's just... 

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Is he A? Is so someone else A? Is Mona a suspect? What is happening?

This is what happens on a good PLL. You get some answer but a shit load more questions. 

***Spoiler Alert End***

I'm tired and have a headache plus my iPod is about to die.

Talk to the peeps later. 

MLover

Hey guys,

So I guess I want to say some stuff? Rant a little?
I am really mad. Jazzi got a pair of the same cat ears as I wear. And yeah, everyone is like "It's not a big deal" but I don't care what they say cause yeah, the cat ears sap my creativity from my brain in a weird way but they are MINE. I am not saying sharing is bad because its not and I don't have a thing with sharing but oh, my GOD can I please have this ONE thing. I love my friends to pieces but come on I draw people with cat ears, my alter ego is named KAT for crying out loud. The weird thing is I love dogs a smidgen more then I love cats but that's beside the point. The point is maybe it's not a big deal to some people but I actually felt for a second that something distinguished me from my friends.
And I'm sorry if thats offensive, the fact that I want to be considered as SEPARATE from them. I don't mean it to be but I just...
My whole life has been me and my brother and I love him too but he looks just like me. And that's not the worst part is that everyone likes him better than me. And maybe I'm just being stupid but thats how it seems. And then I find these awesome people who actually like me for me and I feel like I'm finally a single person not just part of a pair. And then it starts all over again when I get two best friends who look a lot like me which is weird and cool at first until I realize I'm RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED.
Then I find these cat ears, which are in reality just a headband but to me a lot more than that. They single me out and for once I would love to be, "the girl with the cat ears" instead of "oh yeah that's so-and-so's best friend." or "you mean so-and-so's sister?" Because I want to be known for ME not someone else. Sue me.
And call me crazy but her getting those cat ears pissed me off. And then I stole them from her which yeah was petty and I have to admit didn't make me feel better. So I gave them back because whatever right? I'm not going to fight over something so stupid.
But I had to rant.

KatCentral

P.S. and ML I dont want to talk about it with you. Just don't.

My incomplete College Plans

First of all I just want to say I don't have a full ride lined up. I have a few thousand dollars from my dad's job that will come in handy. But my dream school is NYU and that tuition is about $40,000 and that small scholarship ain't gonna do much.
I got a composite score of 25 on the ACT plan and I'm very scared about the real ACT. I know it's going to be a lot harder and honestly, the two guys who worked at Moe's that we met today got 20's on their ACT. I have to rock it. Especially to even consider going to a New York school.
My grades are not what they should be. I really want to get a 3.5+ and I'm not there yet. My grades are better then last year but not by much.
I just need to look like an angel on college applications which is why I want to join debate and possibly do a mission trip sometime before I graduate.
My dad also gave me this really cool idea of video blogging on YouTube which:

• Would be fun
• Help me with my acting
• and if i do well, could maybe even get me some money

So I'll think about it. I definitely have the time for it. Considering I would only have to post about once a week. I don't know. I'm not as funny as Ryan Higa or LaToya Forever but I think some people would watch. I hope. My mom thinks there's no way I'm getting into a top notch school. My brother doesn't want an Ivy League college. I do. I can't help it if all the schools I want to go to are top notch. But I have to admit I have to do better to make myself get there.

KatCentral

Worried

Okay so we took this test where it tells you your estimated ACT score. It the ACT Plan. It's actual questions from the test and it help you plan for your future. 

I did fairly well on. Not as good as I may have wanted. I had friends who made higher to me and that didn't matter, I'm not upset with them. I'm upset with myself. 

I don't take standardized test well or timed test. I have a problem concentrating and I hate being in a damn room with other people and it being so quiet. I hate test. 

I want to go to Columbia or Stanford or Northwestern. These are very selective colleges and I need or want to get at least a 28 on the ACT. My composite score on this plan test was a 21. That's seven points away.

But I need scholarships. My family can't afford to put me through college and I don't have a full ride lined up like Kat or my younger brother. I have to apply and apply and hope that I get enough to get me through at least 4 years. But I want my doctorate so... 

I'm disappointed that I didn't score higher. And that's all people fucking care about. Is fucking test scores. These kids in my class look at me every time the teacher is like guess who got the highest score. It's annoying as hell because sometimes test and assignments don't help show how smart the student is. 

My English teacher is a good teacher and a nice person but he pissed me off today when he was talking to a group of students and he showed them this other girl's test score and was like I expected better. 

You want to know what that should tell him? It should tell him that maybe she's not a good test take or was having an off day. Not that she's fucking stupid or not motivated. 

I'm looking at this test and I'm just so damn mad at myself. This is what I wanted. I want to be successful. 

My biology teacher started talking about how people who come from a poor background don't want to have anything to do with that background when they get older and of they become successful.

People may ask what is successful to you? Success to me is being able to say I'm doing something I love, I can pay all my bills and still take nice vacations and have nice things, providing for my family, and being happy. 

My father couldn't even pay for groceries one time. And I remember when I was living with my mother how we had the crappiest apartment and how we always had to eat lunch at school because sometimes we didn't have dinner. My father used to live in his car. 

I don't want to be like that. Some of you may be thinking but that's what made you who you are today and I accept that but I want my kids to have better. They are still going to learn the life lessons that I did just differently. 

I'm just annoyed. I know exactly how my future goes. I just... I just need everything to fall into place. 

MLover

So yeah, that's cute and whatever

Today, some person asked this other person to prom in a cute way. I don't know the details, I wasn't there I just passed by a huge group of people in the hallway going, AWWWWW.
Okay, also in Spanish 3 we were watching a movie about this little kid named Carlitos who was crossing the border to find his mom. He was nine. That movie had so many feels in it, I swear.
The guy that helped him once he got to America got arrested by the police hours before Carlitos found his mom. At one point, they both passed each other except she was sitting on a bus bench and they walked right behind it I swears everyone in my class wanted to flip a chair. We were all banging on our desks and yelling at the screen and this one guy, Luis, threw paper at the screen which was really funny.
There were a lot of feels in that movie.
Which reminds me to tell you guys about that one thing I saw on tumblr,

Person- Do you ever just get up at night and walk around the house alone in the dark when it's just you and your thoughts?
Another person- I would but I don't want to get murdered, you feel me?

Of course, that response was hilarious to me. And another one,

Person- One time my cousins were visiting and one of them asked me what my favorite season was and I said,  "of what?" and I just
Another person- I took me ten minutes to figure out what was wrong with that response.

Tumblr is a good thing guys.

KatCentral

Ugh

The other blog is up Kat. I sent it to your email.

That movie you were talking about is one of the saddest movies ever. We watched it in sixth grade in my Cultural class. I actually don't remember the name of the class but that doesn't matter. We learned some languages and yeah. Anyways the movie is sad and kinda interesting and I am going to stop talking because I don't know if you finished it and I don't want to spoil it.

I have to up my game

So I've started playing chess on my kindle now because Jazz is kicking my tail! And I hate that. So I've been upping my game.
Okay so there was a person who commented on us? salmonfisher? whoever you are, thank you so much for your input hashtag nosarcasm.
I'm done guys thanks for listening.

KatCentral

Update/These Peoole

Okay so I haven't been on in a while. Don't ask why. So um... Anyways... 

I'm gonna be real brief about the Superbowl. I didn't watch it. I watched the Half-Time Show. Bruno did a good job. Do I think it was his best or the best performance? No, but it was good. He got the crowd hype and then he had the Hot Chili Peppers and they did awesome. He had military personnel give there family a special message that was beautiful. It was good. I want people to stop comparing his performance to Beyonce's last year. First of they are two different artist. And Beyonce is more of a performer. Bruno is more of a singer. What I mean by performer is she gets on stage and puts on a show that sometimes doesn't always include showing all of her vocal abilities. No I'm not doubting her vocal abilities because she CAN SING. I may not like the path she's on now but I can't stop her so whatever. Anyways, Bruno did a good job performing and showing his vocal abilities. It was good. I really like when he performers Runaway Baby and he does the James Brown moves. And I'm sorry but if you were on that stage with a bunch of lights and shit on you dancing you would get hot and start sweating too so shut up. Somebody put that online and it was stupid. 

Next thing is I didn't really route for a team. I love Peyton Manning. I loved the Indianapolis Colts because I was born there and they were a good team. But Peyton left and I was like well I'm going to go with him down to the Broncos. I don't care about the rest of that team. I like Peyton. I don't care bout the Seahawks either. Don't really pay attention to them. I wasn't entirely on the Broncos side either. I'm sorry about this but in my head I could see Charlie and Emmett from Twilight routing for the Seahawks. It's stupid but whatever. The Broncos still could of done better than what they did. Anyways enough about the Superbowl. 

I love my English teacher. He's a good teacher and he's very interactive and we have a good time in class. Now think about group of kids who at the beginning of the year didn't really talk and all hung out with each other. I was part of this group. I am no longer in that group. Those kids turn into monsters a little. They get to the point where they are so nice with the teacher that they become friends and feel like they can do anything.  They talk during class and just act crazy. They feel like they run the class and they get into arguments with the other kids who do the same thing and have always done the same thing. They didn't start off quiet they started off talking. 

I can't say that I haven't grown more comfortable in that class because I have. I talk more and I talk to the teacher outside of class. However I don't sit during class and talk and act like I own that class because technically none of them do. 

I don't know. This one dude that I consider my friend comes in that class with an attitude almost every other class period and just expects someone to seek him out and ask him what's wrong. Or to allow him to sit in the back and just talk the entire class period. And then he wants to get upset when someone tells him to shut up. Or when he's confused and he asks me what's happening and I don't tell him. I refuse to be someone back up plan. I'm not going to help you if you don't help yourself. It's not fair to me.  Don't just expect me to give you all the answers and allow you to copy off me. I'm not that kind of girl. 

I also don't like those people who act one way but then the next second they are different. They feel like they can talk about anything with you and they really can't. I'm sorry but your sexual life is none of my business. First of all you shouldn't be telling me this anyways. Second of all I don't want to know. I don't care about what your doing as long as you are safe, considering you shouldn't be doing it. I understand that people don't want to wait until marriage and that's fine. I realize that in today's time it's not realistic and I don't care. I still think that teenagers are too young and undeveloped to do it. It's not my business what some of my friends do. Especially those who aren't close to me. That's your personal business and you shouldn't be just telling people that and giggling and laughing about it. That's not appropriate for you to giggle about it. I think teens should wait until after high school. College it's whatever and I understand that people are you going to have sex before that and even before high school. I'm not anyone's mother and right now I don't want to be so I can't tell them what to do. I can however control what they tell me and I do not want to hear about what you do with your boyfriend of girlfriend. 

Moving on. I went to this Leadership Conference church thing with my grandparents this Saturday. It was interesting. I had some fun but this one lady made me upset. I accept the LBGT community. I respect and support them. I don't have a problem with people who don't support or accept them. I have a problem with people who don't respect them. And not even like you respect your parents or the president or whatever. I just want people to treat them like a normal person. 

So I go to this church thing and this women is talking about the metaphorical walls of a teenager. She starts talking about how homosexuality is a sin. She starts to talk about how it's being forced upon people because of their history. She talks about how much of a horrible childhood they must have for them to be "that way." She tells us that we need to lead them to the right way. 

A couple of things real quick. I don't agree with the Christian life style and I don't believe in everything they believe in. That's not to say that they aren't right or that it's stupid because it isn't. You wouldn't want anyone stepping on your beliefs so I try not to. There are times when the Christians I have in my life have been very hypocritical. I haven't had the best examples of how to be a Christian but I personally don't want to be one. 

So she's talking about this and she mentions about how on Good Luck Charlie one of Charlie's friends has 2 Mommies and how disappointed she was in Disney. I am proud Disney that they actually did this. It's interesting to see the outcome and see that Disney understands that times are changing. 

The lady mentioned how they (I don't know who they are) are trying to teach children that this is okay and it's right. 

I think that's the right thing to do. I mean to at least exposé kids to that type of lifestyle because it is becoming more common. 

Yes the parents teach the child what they want them to believe but don't go around teaching your child to just hate gays. That's when it gets out of hand. If you don't want you child to believe in that lifestyle it's not my problem just don't be mean and cruel about it. 

Would I enjoy it if everyone accepted the LBGT community. Yeah I really would but again it takes more than one person. 

Okay so can I get off my soapbox now? 

That's all I have for today unless I come back for Music Mondays or The Fosters and I doubt I will. So I'm going to go. 

MLover

Thanks for listening

Revert back to, Fangirl For a Sec.
He hasn't been to Spanish since then. I know for sure I'm over analyzing it now.
God if he found this blog... If anyone I knew found this blog...
I don't know. It'd be scary I guess
You know all those movies there are and at one point the heroine talks to the guy or vice versa and they're all like, "you dont let anyone get close to you in the first place"
Well that's not me. Not even close, actually.
I'm kind of an open book. Not even just because of this blog but just in life.
If you ask me a question, either I'll answer it or my face will show it.
And it's kind of a piss off.
I wish I realized this before I moved so I could've started over, worked on it a little bit.
But then why would I want to? I mean, is it a good thing? Can someone please tell me? Because I'm really confused. Do I want to be all secretive and stuff? Or is it okay to be so open. Because I suck at shutting people out. Seriously, I can't do it. Grudges do not work for me.
Am I rabbit trailing off the subject?
I'm just saying the drama that I don't go through anymore wasn't even about me directly. It always involved a bunch of people. And then there hasn't been drama since I left middle school. I guess we were just stupid middle schoolers, yeah?
I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that those movie moments I love so much just aren't going to happen to me.
I'm just clueless to the fact if I want it to or not.

KatCentral

Macklemore's Grammy Performance

Okay, so I went to see the comments on that video ML posted. So yes, I support homosexuality and all that. And I have my reasons.
But reading stuff like this is really wrong for a bunch of reasons.
I'm not going to discriminate against people who don't like homosexuality. I have some homophobic friends and we have accepted that they are going to have their opinions and I am going to have mine. I don't support their opinions, yeah, but I can't really shoot them down because everyone is entitled to theirs. But if the subject comes up, you can bet I will be supportive of what I believe in.
But in stuff like YouTube, where a bunch of different people from all over comment, we are going to have our differences. And I respect them wanting to express that opinion, even if they do it in a kind of hurtful way.
But there were even some gay people who didn't approve of the performance so...
Yeah those are just my thoughts

KatCentral