Nerd

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Worried

Okay so we took this test where it tells you your estimated ACT score. It the ACT Plan. It's actual questions from the test and it help you plan for your future. 

I did fairly well on. Not as good as I may have wanted. I had friends who made higher to me and that didn't matter, I'm not upset with them. I'm upset with myself. 

I don't take standardized test well or timed test. I have a problem concentrating and I hate being in a damn room with other people and it being so quiet. I hate test. 

I want to go to Columbia or Stanford or Northwestern. These are very selective colleges and I need or want to get at least a 28 on the ACT. My composite score on this plan test was a 21. That's seven points away.

But I need scholarships. My family can't afford to put me through college and I don't have a full ride lined up like Kat or my younger brother. I have to apply and apply and hope that I get enough to get me through at least 4 years. But I want my doctorate so... 

I'm disappointed that I didn't score higher. And that's all people fucking care about. Is fucking test scores. These kids in my class look at me every time the teacher is like guess who got the highest score. It's annoying as hell because sometimes test and assignments don't help show how smart the student is. 

My English teacher is a good teacher and a nice person but he pissed me off today when he was talking to a group of students and he showed them this other girl's test score and was like I expected better. 

You want to know what that should tell him? It should tell him that maybe she's not a good test take or was having an off day. Not that she's fucking stupid or not motivated. 

I'm looking at this test and I'm just so damn mad at myself. This is what I wanted. I want to be successful. 

My biology teacher started talking about how people who come from a poor background don't want to have anything to do with that background when they get older and of they become successful.

People may ask what is successful to you? Success to me is being able to say I'm doing something I love, I can pay all my bills and still take nice vacations and have nice things, providing for my family, and being happy. 

My father couldn't even pay for groceries one time. And I remember when I was living with my mother how we had the crappiest apartment and how we always had to eat lunch at school because sometimes we didn't have dinner. My father used to live in his car. 

I don't want to be like that. Some of you may be thinking but that's what made you who you are today and I accept that but I want my kids to have better. They are still going to learn the life lessons that I did just differently. 

I'm just annoyed. I know exactly how my future goes. I just... I just need everything to fall into place. 


MLover

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

So yeah, that's cute and whatever

Today, some person asked this other person to prom in a cute way. I don't know the details, I wasn't there I just passed by a huge group of people in the hallway going, AWWWWW.
Okay, also in Spanish 3 we were watching a movie about this little kid named Carlitos who was crossing the border to find his mom. He was nine. That movie had so many feels in it, I swear.
The guy that helped him once he got to America got arrested by the police hours before Carlitos found his mom. At one point, they both passed each other except she was sitting on a bus bench and they walked right behind it I swears everyone in my class wanted to flip a chair. We were all banging on our desks and yelling at the screen and this one guy, Luis, threw paper at the screen which was really funny.
There were a lot of feels in that movie.
Which reminds me to tell you guys about that one thing I saw on tumblr,

Person- Do you ever just get up at night and walk around the house alone in the dark when it's just you and your thoughts?
Another person- I would but I don't want to get murdered, you feel me?

Of course, that response was hilarious to me. And another one,

Person- One time my cousins were visiting and one of them asked me what my favorite season was and I said,  "of what?" and I just
Another person- I took me ten minutes to figure out what was wrong with that response.

Tumblr is a good thing guys.

KatCentral

Ugh

The other blog is up Kat. I sent it to your email.

That movie you were talking about is one of the saddest movies ever. We watched it in sixth grade in my Cultural class. I actually don't remember the name of the class but that doesn't matter. We learned some languages and yeah. Anyways the movie is sad and kinda interesting and I am going to stop talking because I don't know if you finished it and I don't want to spoil it.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I have to up my game

So I've started playing chess on my kindle now because Jazz is kicking my tail! And I hate that. So I've been upping my game.
Okay so there was a person who commented on us? salmonfisher? whoever you are, thank you so much for your input hashtag nosarcasm.
I'm done guys thanks for listening.

KatCentral

Monday, February 3, 2014

Update/These Peoole

Okay so I haven't been on in a while. Don't ask why. So um... Anyways... 

I'm gonna be real brief about the Superbowl. I didn't watch it. I watched the Half-Time Show. Bruno did a good job. Do I think it was his best or the best performance? No, but it was good. He got the crowd hype and then he had the Hot Chili Peppers and they did awesome. He had military personnel give there family a special message that was beautiful. It was good. I want people to stop comparing his performance to Beyonce's last year. First of they are two different artist. And Beyonce is more of a performer. Bruno is more of a singer. What I mean by performer is she gets on stage and puts on a show that sometimes doesn't always include showing all of her vocal abilities. No I'm not doubting her vocal abilities because she CAN SING. I may not like the path she's on now but I can't stop her so whatever. Anyways, Bruno did a good job performing and showing his vocal abilities. It was good. I really like when he performers Runaway Baby and he does the James Brown moves. And I'm sorry but if you were on that stage with a bunch of lights and shit on you dancing you would get hot and start sweating too so shut up. Somebody put that online and it was stupid. 

Next thing is I didn't really route for a team. I love Peyton Manning. I loved the Indianapolis Colts because I was born there and they were a good team. But Peyton left and I was like well I'm going to go with him down to the Broncos. I don't care about the rest of that team. I like Peyton. I don't care bout the Seahawks either. Don't really pay attention to them. I wasn't entirely on the Broncos side either. I'm sorry about this but in my head I could see Charlie and Emmett from Twilight routing for the Seahawks. It's stupid but whatever. The Broncos still could of done better than what they did. Anyways enough about the Superbowl. 

I love my English teacher. He's a good teacher and he's very interactive and we have a good time in class. Now think about group of kids who at the beginning of the year didn't really talk and all hung out with each other. I was part of this group. I am no longer in that group. Those kids turn into monsters a little. They get to the point where they are so nice with the teacher that they become friends and feel like they can do anything.  They talk during class and just act crazy. They feel like they run the class and they get into arguments with the other kids who do the same thing and have always done the same thing. They didn't start off quiet they started off talking. 

I can't say that I haven't grown more comfortable in that class because I have. I talk more and I talk to the teacher outside of class. However I don't sit during class and talk and act like I own that class because technically none of them do. 

I don't know. This one dude that I consider my friend comes in that class with an attitude almost every other class period and just expects someone to seek him out and ask him what's wrong. Or to allow him to sit in the back and just talk the entire class period. And then he wants to get upset when someone tells him to shut up. Or when he's confused and he asks me what's happening and I don't tell him. I refuse to be someone back up plan. I'm not going to help you if you don't help yourself. It's not fair to me.  Don't just expect me to give you all the answers and allow you to copy off me. I'm not that kind of girl. 

I also don't like those people who act one way but then the next second they are different. They feel like they can talk about anything with you and they really can't. I'm sorry but your sexual life is none of my business. First of all you shouldn't be telling me this anyways. Second of all I don't want to know. I don't care about what your doing as long as you are safe, considering you shouldn't be doing it. I understand that people don't want to wait until marriage and that's fine. I realize that in today's time it's not realistic and I don't care. I still think that teenagers are too young and undeveloped to do it. It's not my business what some of my friends do. Especially those who aren't close to me. That's your personal business and you shouldn't be just telling people that and giggling and laughing about it. That's not appropriate for you to giggle about it. I think teens should wait until after high school. College it's whatever and I understand that people are you going to have sex before that and even before high school. I'm not anyone's mother and right now I don't want to be so I can't tell them what to do. I can however control what they tell me and I do not want to hear about what you do with your boyfriend of girlfriend. 

Moving on. I went to this Leadership Conference church thing with my grandparents this Saturday. It was interesting. I had some fun but this one lady made me upset. I accept the LBGT community. I respect and support them. I don't have a problem with people who don't support or accept them. I have a problem with people who don't respect them. And not even like you respect your parents or the president or whatever. I just want people to treat them like a normal person. 

So I go to this church thing and this women is talking about the metaphorical walls of a teenager. She starts talking about how homosexuality is a sin. She starts to talk about how it's being forced upon people because of their history. She talks about how much of a horrible childhood they must have for them to be "that way." She tells us that we need to lead them to the right way. 

A couple of things real quick. I don't agree with the Christian life style and I don't believe in everything they believe in. That's not to say that they aren't right or that it's stupid because it isn't. You wouldn't want anyone stepping on your beliefs so I try not to. There are times when the Christians I have in my life have been very hypocritical. I haven't had the best examples of how to be a Christian but I personally don't want to be one. 

So she's talking about this and she mentions about how on Good Luck Charlie one of Charlie's friends has 2 Mommies and how disappointed she was in Disney. I am proud Disney that they actually did this. It's interesting to see the outcome and see that Disney understands that times are changing. 

The lady mentioned how they (I don't know who they are) are trying to teach children that this is okay and it's right. 
I think that's the right thing to do. I mean to at least exposé kids to that type of lifestyle because it is becoming more common. 

Yes the parents teach the child what they want them to believe but don't go around teaching your child to just hate gays. That's when it gets out of hand. If you don't want you child to believe in that lifestyle it's not my problem just don't be mean and cruel about it. 

Would I enjoy it if everyone accepted the LBGT community. Yeah I really would but again it takes more than one person. 

Okay so can I get off my soapbox now? 
That's all I have for today unless I come back for Music Mondays or The Fosters and I doubt I will. So I'm going to go. 




MLover

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Thanks for listening

Revert back to, Fangirl For a Sec.
He hasn't been to Spanish since then. I know for sure I'm over analyzing it now.
God if he found this blog... If anyone I knew found this blog...
I don't know. It'd be scary I guess
You know all those movies there are and at one point the heroine talks to the guy or vice versa and they're all like, "you dont let anyone get close to you in the first place"
Well that's not me. Not even close, actually.
I'm kind of an open book. Not even just because of this blog but just in life.
If you ask me a question, either I'll answer it or my face will show it.
And it's kind of a piss off.
I wish I realized this before I moved so I could've started over, worked on it a little bit.
But then why would I want to? I mean, is it a good thing? Can someone please tell me? Because I'm really confused. Do I want to be all secretive and stuff? Or is it okay to be so open. Because I suck at shutting people out. Seriously, I can't do it. Grudges do not work for me.
Am I rabbit trailing off the subject?
I'm just saying the drama that I don't go through anymore wasn't even about me directly. It always involved a bunch of people. And then there hasn't been drama since I left middle school. I guess we were just stupid middle schoolers, yeah?
I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that those movie moments I love so much just aren't going to happen to me.
I'm just clueless to the fact if I want it to or not.

KatCentral

Macklemore's Grammy Performance

Okay, so I went to see the comments on that video ML posted. So yes, I support homosexuality and all that. And I have my reasons.
But reading stuff like this is really wrong for a bunch of reasons.
I'm not going to discriminate against people who don't like homosexuality. I have some homophobic friends and we have accepted that they are going to have their opinions and I am going to have mine. I don't support their opinions, yeah, but I can't really shoot them down because everyone is entitled to theirs. But if the subject comes up, you can bet I will be supportive of what I believe in.
But in stuff like YouTube, where a bunch of different people from all over comment, we are going to have our differences. And I respect them wanting to express that opinion, even if they do it in a kind of hurtful way.
But there were even some gay people who didn't approve of the performance so...
Yeah those are just my thoughts

KatCentral