Leaving

Okay.
So my father just called me and my brother in his room.
He asked us do we want to live here.
I thought he meant the place we live in now and so I was like no really quick because I don't.
He didn't mean that.
He meant live with him down south.
And he wanted an answer right them.
That's like one of the most difficult things to do right there.
There are contributing factors.
Yeah most of the good ones are up north but All my friends are down here.
I don't know what I would do without my friends.
In all fact it's mostly Kat.
The person who I call my sister has left me at least 2 twice. And didn't even try to keep in touch with me.
There is so much stuff down here that I wouldn't want or couldn't leave.
But I hate it down here.
If not for my friends or music I would be another one of those teenage suicide cases.
Another face out of about 1,000.
People would get over it and move on.
But because of my friends I'm still here being my weird little self.
There is one thing that the north can't bring me.
The towns mom lives in is such a cookie cutter churchy thing.
They like hate my mom because she has been to jail for something. The pastor of a church wouldn't even look at her.
They wouldn't accept me. I'm tht weird girl who reads books about vampires, witches, werewolves, and just anything supernatural or paranormal. I'm that girl who listens to all types if music and music that isn't afraid to call people out. I'm that girl who supports LBGT because I think they deserve the same rights. I'm that girl who can okay video games like a boy. I'm that girl who hates to tell her feelings but can write a damn good emotional story. I'm that girl who doesn't want to be married. I'm that girl that doesn't believe in love. I'm that girl who dances around and sings everywhere. I'm that girl people look at and go "What's wrong with her." Im that girl who thinks Christians are hypocritical and obnoxious. I'm that girl who's religion is music.
I'm that girl no one wants to believe in.
But who gives a shxt about them.
I don't.
I'm in there city for a little over 2 months a year and they avoid me like the plague. I would never make friends.
I'm happy enough down here but if I could take my friends with me I would leave in a heartbeat.
I don't know what to do without them. They help me shape who I am and who I am trying to grow up and be.
Kat is my twin. (Not really.)
We have so much in common that its just weird.
We embraced that and are now f**k awesome friends and I Love Her.
(Yeah I know I said earlier bout the wifey thing. Eh we had a funny day. We aren't married. Or dating.)
So yeah. There are so many things better about up north than down here but I can't leave.
Not without my girls.

Now I gotta put some lyrics because my bad day playlist is playing and it's like my iPod is connected to me brain because it is playing all the right songs.
If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting
To be with you again?
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head up high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever.
I just gotta let you know,
I never wanna let you go.

When you look me in the eyes.
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

"When You Look Me In The Eyes"
- The Jonas Brothers (The original JB)


MusicalLover9816