When Can I Find Me Again?

I feel like crying.
Today is Tuesday so Pretty Little Liars and The Lying Game came on today. I always watch so yeah.
I had a decent day at school. Not to bad, not really good.
I got home and I had homework for two classes.
One was Economics or whatever it's called.
The other was math. Well Algebra 2 and right now I am not doing so well in that class.
So I started doing my Economics first because it was definitions and questions. I had like three different things for math to do because we have a test next class.
So the Economics homework wasn't as easy as I though and took me until like 15 minutes before Pretty Little Liars came on.
So I was folding clothes in that 15 minutes and then put them up and returned them to their owners.
I never fold my clothes because it takes up time when I could just do it later. I have been so busy that I now have like this huge chair filled with clothes. So while PLL was on I was trying to pay attention and do my math homework.
I was doing problems during the commercials.
So then The Lying Game came on and my parents had to go somewhere. Don't ask my where because they never tell. They just come in and say "Hey watch my kids."
I said okay because I don't really mind it.
My stepmother had given them a cupcake so they were all super hyper and running everywhere and it was so LOUD!
So then they came back and we ate dinner and stuff.
So then I went to get in the shower. I was texting Kat and my mom.
I got out the shower and my parents were sleep but their children weren't. I didn't want my siblings to wake them up because my Dad had to leave soon anyways because he works nights .
So I tried to please their needs. But then my little brother ran into a wall playing in the dark and when he started crying my stepmother woke up.
She dealt with him and I was in the kitchen looking for something to snack on.
My stepmother just up and decided to stop buying me and my older brother snacks. There was nothing in there but like a thing of cupcakes I am not supposed to eat.
So I just got some water but when I was in there my stepmother came in there and saw me and said "You and _________ (my older brother) clean the kitchen up." This was an hour before 11:00.
But then she turned and walked back to where everyone's room was so I thought she was going to tell my brother since she was back there.
She didn't.
Then she got mad at me because I didn't go tell him.
So I went to get him and I grabbed my iPod. I mean music makes everything fun.
And seriously I love music and do everything with music. Music is a piece of me. What I listen to describes me.
She snatched my iPod out my hand saying how I didn't need it to wash dishes.
I nodded and said okay.
I didn't really care if I got the dishes don't quickly I could go read. I set aside a time for myself to read every night for an hour before I go to sleep. I like to read and always end up with a lot of books from the library so when my life started getting busy I started my reading hour. From ten to eleven.
This was cutting into my reading hour.
So we finished the dishes and my brother left and I started to wipe the counters down. They were filthy. I swear I wanted to throw up just looking at it. Much less trying to get it off.
I didn't mind that.
During this time my father left... Didn't saying anything to me.
So now it's 10:30.
I'm happy I can get some time to read.
Then my friend/sister (she is a friend but practically my sister) texted me.
She sent me a picture of this book she had been trying to get for the longest.
So I sent her a picture of these t - shirts that I had told her about for my schools GSA club.
I must have told her LBGT when I told her about the t - shirts because she goes that says GSA not LBGT.
I wanted to choke her.
I can't believe she actually said that to me.
Why does it matter they are both working for the same cause and trying to reach the same goal. Does it really matter that there acronyms don't match?
God I swear I wanted to scream.
So I told her that it was almost the same thing and she goes I guess.
I got so annoyed. She doesn't have to buy the t - shirt. No one told her she had to get the t - shirt.
I just was telling her about it because she doesn't like how members of the LBGT community are treated.
Her attitude towards the t - shirt just had me ready to punch her.
I left her alone after that. I didn't feel like dealing with it.
So then I went in my room and there is like a mountain of clothes for me to fold on my bed. No basket.
I looked at the book I was going to read and just shook my head.

To add on to that. I have a speech due this week. I am kinda prepared for it but not really. I have to do a monologue in another class. I don't really like what I have done so far and it's due tomorrow. I have to finish my math homework and find a way to get my grade up from an F. And then whatever else the world wants to drop on me. My head hurts.

I'm just so stressed right now trying to keep up with everything. I can't find time to do things for me.
I'm doing stuff for friends and for family and for school.
What can I do for me?
I barely have any time to just sit and relax. I'm trying to keep my grades up. Trying to make sure my room looks semi - decent. Doing the things my stepmother says. And dealing with my friends and just peer pressure and stuff.
I just want to get away. Have a day that's totally to myself so I can just relax and calm down.
Maybe this why I have high blood pressure.
Not trying to sound old right there or nothing.
I just want to know...
When can I find me again?

Sometimes I just want to curl up in a dark corner and die.

MusicalLover9816