Kat Central will never die.

Okay well I need this blog. A lot. Because I have a lot of stuff I need to say. And I don't want the blog to be ruined. But it kind of is. Because now it's not private anymore. And that really sucks.
We wanted this to be our place. And that was violated. I don't want to talk about it.
But it sucks.
But Kat Central will never die.

KatCentral

The End of MusicalLover9816

I am so angry right now.

There is nothing anyone can say right now that will do anything to calm me down.

My father and my stepmother read my blog today. And I feel so betrayed. There is nothing to describe how hurt I feel. All I ever wanted was someplace to express myself and not have to worry about my parents knowing or trying to stop it. But of course that didn't work out.

You know the really sad part is that it makes me even more upset to know that my father spent just about all of his little speech talk lecture thing talking about my stepmother. Not about how my friend tried to kill herself, or how I feel I'm suicidal, but about how I should be more respectful to my stepmother and how I should give her a chance.

Let me backspace. Today my father came in my room and asked me about my friends, and school, and my stepmother. I should have known something was up. Me and my father don't usually talk a lot. But did I do that no. I blew it off. And he sends me a freaking text talking about he just wanted to talk to me and how he spent all of today reading my blog.

So I just get pissed. I text Kat but then stop and just turn off my lights and lay down because I was going to sleep. But he called me in his room and gave me an hour long speech. And you think I'm kidding but it was an hour long. Trust me.

You would think he would talk about more things but he talked about my stepmother and how she loves me and how she would do anything for me. I'm sorry but she has a funny way of showing it.

I'm so upset I can't even describe or talk about it. There are so many thoughts inside my head right now. You would think that after spending a whole day reading my blog he would understand, but he still doesn't get it. And it's so frustrating because I spelled everything all out here. I spilled all my secrets and let my dragons fly here and he still doesn't understand. My stepmother is not truly the problem, my problem is the way she treats me and how he overlooks it. And she can sit there and say all she wants that she treats me the same as her children but that's a lie. I understand I'm not her biological child and I can accept that but not talking to me for two weeks is stupid. She takes her attitudes and it always seems like she has it out for me. I know that sometimes her children come before me and I'm fine with that. They are her kids and are younger than me but I don't want to be ignored.

I can't believe he spent the entire speech talking about my stepmother. Not once did he mention all the many times I've felt lost, scared, or suicidal. No, it was all about how I shouldn't be disrespectful and how she was his wife and I can't say bad words behind her back.

My father did the exact thing that I'm always talking about. He placed her and my siblings in front. He never even thought about my feelings throughout this whole thing.

This was an invasion of my privacy. This was the one place I could go and just type and not worry. At home I have to worry about it being read or used as background for one of my siblings creations. My blog was someplace where I could come and be safe. Apparently it wasn't too safe if he found it.

I got in trouble for expressing myself. I'm no longer allowed to post family business on the blog. One I respect that. Two he doesn't have to worry considering I'm not blogging anymore. I'm done.

I'm no longer allowed to curse.

All I can say is that if he had never read my blog he wouldn't have to do all this. I know he is just trying to help and protect me but by doing this I feel more shut off from my family. I was already barely talking to them and now I just don't want anything to do with them. I no longer know how to treat them.

My father wants me to do all these things with my brother and my stepmother and I just don't want to.

And my stepmother. I could throttle her. The entire speech she's just making noises and agreeing. She made me sit up.

And when it was her turn to talk she didn't say anything about loving me. Not that I blame her.

Honestly I don't want to talk about this. No one's going to read it anyways.

I'm not sorry for expressing myself. Or for actually trying to understand my own thoughts and feelings. And I got in trouble for it. They still don't get it. They never will.

2 more years.
Bye blog, it was fun while it lasted. I enjoyed it.

For the last time

MusicalLover

Epiphany-worthy book

I don know if youve ever read The Fault in our Stars by John Green. But it is such a good book and if you haven't, then you are missing out big time. I have never met a book that challenged me more in my mind and in my heart.
Let me just summarize it for you. A girl named Hazel and a boy named Gus fall in love and they have cancer and it is not like, My Sister's Keeper I hate to say it but it is so much better than that. And there is a movie bu I am so scared to watch it because if they ruin the book for me I will hurl somebody off my patio. it is that good.
Read it.

KatCentral

Bless the Broken Road

So I'm laying in bed reading and just waiting to go to sleep; my iPod is on shuffle, and Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts comes on. 

Yes I like country music. 

I really love this song. The lyrics mean so much. While many people look at this song and think of their boyfriend or girlfriend out their spouse I just think of important people in my life. 

My childhood wasn't the best. I don't believe in love between spouses but I do believe in the love of a family or a friendship. And yes there is a difference. And while my childhood hasn't been the best I'm not blaming anyone for it. 

Well not anyone that matters. 

So listening to this dog I think of all the people in my childhood who put me down, hurt me, or just didn't believe in me and I think about the people in my life now who support me, an accept me for who I am. 

I'm not the easiest person to like. I have walls ten feet tall made of steel an reinforced. So just knowing that there are people willing to try is amazing and those who have gotten behind the wall is even better. 

Don't ask me why in being all sentimental and emotional. The story I'm reading is... I'm blaming it. But it's deep, man it's deep. 

Kay I'm going to sleep. 

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

(Yes He did)

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Yeah.

Now I'm just rolling home

Into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.

Music/Helios

Helios by The Fray was released yesterday. This album is really good. I already love Hurricane and Love Don't Die but this entire album is actually really good and just Ah....

Shadow and A Dancer is probably the best song off of that album to me. I love the music in the background and the lyrics are beautiful.

Of course there are other songs but I really love Shadow and A Dancer.

My computer is broke so I can't load any of the music onto my iTunes account therefore it is not on my iPod which makes me sad. I downloaded this app that lets you load songs onto it but you can only have 20 before it says you have to upgrade. Upgrading cost money and I will not be doing that but I did get the album on the app. I have been playing it on repeat along with a couple of other songs.

Oh and I am in love with Daley. If you haven't heard him then go listen. He brings back R&B. His voice is awesome.

I'm typing this class and I actually have something to do so I am going to get back to that now.
Cya peoplez!

Hello old friend

Do you remember when

We would float on the summer wind

And fall back to earth again

Hello love

Remember that touch

That skin on skin rush

Sweeping after both of us

Like a shadow and a dancer

We were looking for the answers

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know the summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

We have stayed

Like the Cascade Mountain range

And Pacific Ocean waves

Some things never change

And it’s you and me

And our bodies are a memory

We’re turning ever so slowly

In the candlelight trembling

Like a shadow and a dancer

We were looking for the answers

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know the summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

No, we’ve never been so in love

Like a shadow and a dancer

A shadow and a dancer

We are looking for the answer

Keeping perfect time

Like a shadow and a dancer

We know summer thrill is gone

But we’ve never been so in love

Oh, we’ve never

Shadow and a dancer

Looking for the answer

MusicalLover

Are We Serious

My father and stepmother have been fighting for the past hour. 

It's extremely loud and there stomping around and slamming doors. 

I am so done right now. I really hope my little brother and sisters are sleep. I swear to gosh I can hear them over the music I'm playing. And I have earphones on. 

My room is right next to there's and just ugh. And they keep moving around. I can hear them from the living room. It's really starting to piss me off. I already have a hard time going to sleep and not this. 

It's almost 2 in the morning!!!!!!! 

Just ugh, whatever. It's not like it I can go out there and say anything. 

To: Mother

I am so sick of people making me feel worthless! I just... don't even want to be here! Especially with you!!!! Just leave me alone!

!!!!AHHH!!!!!!

KatCentral

The (insert-gender-here)friend factor

     So yeah I'm video blogging now apparently. If you watch the first one you'll realize why I started. Even though I like the 2nd one more. Thats where I started getting the handle on my sparkling wit. Ha-ha. But watch them, they're funny. Especially the 2nd one.
     Okay!
     So what I really want to talk about is the boyfriend-girlfriend factor? That's what I call it anyway. Because the gf/bf factor is where your entire relationship changes with a person whether it be platonic or romantic and it's all because of a significant other. This hasn't happened to me, yet,
but it totally could.
      Because, say... your friend gets a girlfriend or boyfriend. Then they suddenly start straying from YOU because they want to spend time with their significant other. It starts as blowing you off once or twice at the movies to help their person with homework or whatever. Then they stop making plans with you altogether which at first is fine until you realize that the other person is all your former best friend thinks about. Which would suck. I call this phase 2 of the factor

     And then the other factor in the gf/bf factor (phase 1) is when you become the bf or gf and then your best friendship that was purely platonic in the beginning is suddenly romantic and you know you are doing the right thing because you love this person in more-than-a-friend-way but then everything slips. Because it used to be, he could sit with his friends that you don't really like some days and you could sit with yours that he's not crazy about but now everyone expects you to ALWAYS sit together so now you do and suddenly you run out of subjects because you can no longer talk about your other friends because there are no other friends which in turn becomes phase two. And now you're always together so each of you knows every little thing about each other and there is no new anything. See? It's a whole thing.

But then theres the exception in which case the best friend and best friend are still best friends while one of the best friends has another person and it's all okay.
And then the other exception is when you and your best friend start being more than friends and it was indeed a match made in heaven so it all works and his friends are your friends and vice versa and life is happy forever like those original Disney movies.

KatCentral

Kat Central Take #2

Kat Central Take #1

Okay

So I got a couple of things to talk about really quick. I'm reading this story and just a lot is happening right now. 

So earlier me and some of my friends were having a conversation in line talking about stuff and we ended up talking about Army personnel. More about their looks but I do want to clarify something. 

Looks are a thing for me. Not a huge thing but a thing nevertheless. They can't be butt ugly. Seriously. You have to be attractive in my eyes. 

But I have a thing for Army personnel and firemen. More about the Army personnel though. A lot of my family is in the Army and yes I know, trust me I know that some of these men come back damaged both mentally and physically. But they are so brave for going in there in the first place. Not many people would do that. And the women who do it are beyond amazing in my eyes. 

So for me I really look up to Army personnel. And they all have to be fit so I like that. I don't really know, but I know that I really like them and not just for their looks. I like their bravery and I remember those shows they show them surprising their wives and children coming home. It's the cutest thing ever. 

God, I have a heart. It's not completely frozen. 

Semi-laugh. Then a sigh. 

So Pretty Little Liars. Just... Yeah.

***Spoiler Alert***

Look for the * to know the end. 

Let me tell you about this shit. 

I swear I was having a heart attack. The entire show. 

So Spencer is strung out on this drugs that she has no business taking and she's convinced the other Liars, well everyone but Aria, that Ezra is A. 

No offense but I don't believe, could never believe that Ezra is A. I just can't. 

So anyways Ezra says some weird shit to her and freak her out and then Ezra gives Aria Spencer's folder from school showing that she used to abuse drugs. Not like cocaine or anything but stuff for ADHD because it keeps her alert and awake so she can focus.

So instead of having an intervention for Aria about Ezra they end up having and intervention for Spencer about these drugs. So they think Spencer is strung out and crazy so they don't really believe her when she starts spouting off about Ezra setting her up and Aria defiantly didn't believe her when she said Ezra is A. 

So we move along and Spencer sets up a plan to get A to come to her. 

But Aria is talking to Ezra and he's trying to convince her that she should tell Spencer's parents about the drugs. So then he says something about Spencer going off the handle by just seeing a dead body with a helmet and a tattoo. That was never released in the news so Aria caught him in a lie. 

So she goes to the cabin and gets the password to the security system wrong so it alerts Ezra but she gets in and finds the trap door to the little room that he had set up down there but then it's empty. So she picks up this book and the inside is carved out and it hold this manuscript that kinda straight out says he knows Alison and he dated her. So then he gets to the cabin and Aria runs. Oh my gosh, so then she gets to this Ski lift and she gets on it but Ezra is quick and she locks them both in on accident and she crying and asking questions. 

So Ezra comes clean saying he knew Ali and he knew who Aria was when he met her and how he used her at first. But of course he says I fell in love with you, my feelings are real. I never lied about my feelings. Ezra is balling and she pulls out his book talking about how she's gonna read it from cover to cover. So then they scramble for it and they drop it in the woods cause their on a ski lift. 

All while this is going on Spencer's plan which was to draw A out by releasing a little information and dressing up as Ali coming to get money. But Ezra is with Aria so when someone shows up its like woah. Someone who was Ali but it wasn't Spencer. 

So anyways Mike and Mona which is just ugh and just. 

Back on the ski lift Ezra talks about how he knows all of this because he was writing a book about Ali. He's been investigating and digging because he's writing a crime novel. He even knows that she's alive. It's just... 

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Is he A? Is so someone else A? Is Mona a suspect? What is happening?

This is what happens on a good PLL. You get some answer but a shit load more questions. 

***Spoiler Alert End***

I'm tired and have a headache plus my iPod is about to die.

Talk to the peeps later. 

MLover

Hey guys,

So I guess I want to say some stuff? Rant a little?
I am really mad. Jazzi got a pair of the same cat ears as I wear. And yeah, everyone is like "It's not a big deal" but I don't care what they say cause yeah, the cat ears sap my creativity from my brain in a weird way but they are MINE. I am not saying sharing is bad because its not and I don't have a thing with sharing but oh, my GOD can I please have this ONE thing. I love my friends to pieces but come on I draw people with cat ears, my alter ego is named KAT for crying out loud. The weird thing is I love dogs a smidgen more then I love cats but that's beside the point. The point is maybe it's not a big deal to some people but I actually felt for a second that something distinguished me from my friends.
And I'm sorry if thats offensive, the fact that I want to be considered as SEPARATE from them. I don't mean it to be but I just...
My whole life has been me and my brother and I love him too but he looks just like me. And that's not the worst part is that everyone likes him better than me. And maybe I'm just being stupid but thats how it seems. And then I find these awesome people who actually like me for me and I feel like I'm finally a single person not just part of a pair. And then it starts all over again when I get two best friends who look a lot like me which is weird and cool at first until I realize I'm RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED.
Then I find these cat ears, which are in reality just a headband but to me a lot more than that. They single me out and for once I would love to be, "the girl with the cat ears" instead of "oh yeah that's so-and-so's best friend." or "you mean so-and-so's sister?" Because I want to be known for ME not someone else. Sue me.
And call me crazy but her getting those cat ears pissed me off. And then I stole them from her which yeah was petty and I have to admit didn't make me feel better. So I gave them back because whatever right? I'm not going to fight over something so stupid.
But I had to rant.

KatCentral

P.S. and ML I dont want to talk about it with you. Just don't.

My incomplete College Plans

First of all I just want to say I don't have a full ride lined up. I have a few thousand dollars from my dad's job that will come in handy. But my dream school is NYU and that tuition is about $40,000 and that small scholarship ain't gonna do much.
I got a composite score of 25 on the ACT plan and I'm very scared about the real ACT. I know it's going to be a lot harder and honestly, the two guys who worked at Moe's that we met today got 20's on their ACT. I have to rock it. Especially to even consider going to a New York school.
My grades are not what they should be. I really want to get a 3.5+ and I'm not there yet. My grades are better then last year but not by much.
I just need to look like an angel on college applications which is why I want to join debate and possibly do a mission trip sometime before I graduate.
My dad also gave me this really cool idea of video blogging on YouTube which:

• Would be fun
• Help me with my acting
• and if i do well, could maybe even get me some money

So I'll think about it. I definitely have the time for it. Considering I would only have to post about once a week. I don't know. I'm not as funny as Ryan Higa or LaToya Forever but I think some people would watch. I hope. My mom thinks there's no way I'm getting into a top notch school. My brother doesn't want an Ivy League college. I do. I can't help it if all the schools I want to go to are top notch. But I have to admit I have to do better to make myself get there.

KatCentral

Worried

Okay so we took this test where it tells you your estimated ACT score. It the ACT Plan. It's actual questions from the test and it help you plan for your future. 

I did fairly well on. Not as good as I may have wanted. I had friends who made higher to me and that didn't matter, I'm not upset with them. I'm upset with myself. 

I don't take standardized test well or timed test. I have a problem concentrating and I hate being in a damn room with other people and it being so quiet. I hate test. 

I want to go to Columbia or Stanford or Northwestern. These are very selective colleges and I need or want to get at least a 28 on the ACT. My composite score on this plan test was a 21. That's seven points away.

But I need scholarships. My family can't afford to put me through college and I don't have a full ride lined up like Kat or my younger brother. I have to apply and apply and hope that I get enough to get me through at least 4 years. But I want my doctorate so... 

I'm disappointed that I didn't score higher. And that's all people fucking care about. Is fucking test scores. These kids in my class look at me every time the teacher is like guess who got the highest score. It's annoying as hell because sometimes test and assignments don't help show how smart the student is. 

My English teacher is a good teacher and a nice person but he pissed me off today when he was talking to a group of students and he showed them this other girl's test score and was like I expected better. 

You want to know what that should tell him? It should tell him that maybe she's not a good test take or was having an off day. Not that she's fucking stupid or not motivated. 

I'm looking at this test and I'm just so damn mad at myself. This is what I wanted. I want to be successful. 

My biology teacher started talking about how people who come from a poor background don't want to have anything to do with that background when they get older and of they become successful.

People may ask what is successful to you? Success to me is being able to say I'm doing something I love, I can pay all my bills and still take nice vacations and have nice things, providing for my family, and being happy. 

My father couldn't even pay for groceries one time. And I remember when I was living with my mother how we had the crappiest apartment and how we always had to eat lunch at school because sometimes we didn't have dinner. My father used to live in his car. 

I don't want to be like that. Some of you may be thinking but that's what made you who you are today and I accept that but I want my kids to have better. They are still going to learn the life lessons that I did just differently. 

I'm just annoyed. I know exactly how my future goes. I just... I just need everything to fall into place. 

MLover

So yeah, that's cute and whatever

Today, some person asked this other person to prom in a cute way. I don't know the details, I wasn't there I just passed by a huge group of people in the hallway going, AWWWWW.
Okay, also in Spanish 3 we were watching a movie about this little kid named Carlitos who was crossing the border to find his mom. He was nine. That movie had so many feels in it, I swear.
The guy that helped him once he got to America got arrested by the police hours before Carlitos found his mom. At one point, they both passed each other except she was sitting on a bus bench and they walked right behind it I swears everyone in my class wanted to flip a chair. We were all banging on our desks and yelling at the screen and this one guy, Luis, threw paper at the screen which was really funny.
There were a lot of feels in that movie.
Which reminds me to tell you guys about that one thing I saw on tumblr,

Person- Do you ever just get up at night and walk around the house alone in the dark when it's just you and your thoughts?
Another person- I would but I don't want to get murdered, you feel me?

Of course, that response was hilarious to me. And another one,

Person- One time my cousins were visiting and one of them asked me what my favorite season was and I said,  "of what?" and I just
Another person- I took me ten minutes to figure out what was wrong with that response.

Tumblr is a good thing guys.

KatCentral

Ugh

The other blog is up Kat. I sent it to your email.

That movie you were talking about is one of the saddest movies ever. We watched it in sixth grade in my Cultural class. I actually don't remember the name of the class but that doesn't matter. We learned some languages and yeah. Anyways the movie is sad and kinda interesting and I am going to stop talking because I don't know if you finished it and I don't want to spoil it.

I have to up my game

So I've started playing chess on my kindle now because Jazz is kicking my tail! And I hate that. So I've been upping my game.
Okay so there was a person who commented on us? salmonfisher? whoever you are, thank you so much for your input hashtag nosarcasm.
I'm done guys thanks for listening.

KatCentral

Update/These Peoole

Okay so I haven't been on in a while. Don't ask why. So um... Anyways... 

I'm gonna be real brief about the Superbowl. I didn't watch it. I watched the Half-Time Show. Bruno did a good job. Do I think it was his best or the best performance? No, but it was good. He got the crowd hype and then he had the Hot Chili Peppers and they did awesome. He had military personnel give there family a special message that was beautiful. It was good. I want people to stop comparing his performance to Beyonce's last year. First of they are two different artist. And Beyonce is more of a performer. Bruno is more of a singer. What I mean by performer is she gets on stage and puts on a show that sometimes doesn't always include showing all of her vocal abilities. No I'm not doubting her vocal abilities because she CAN SING. I may not like the path she's on now but I can't stop her so whatever. Anyways, Bruno did a good job performing and showing his vocal abilities. It was good. I really like when he performers Runaway Baby and he does the James Brown moves. And I'm sorry but if you were on that stage with a bunch of lights and shit on you dancing you would get hot and start sweating too so shut up. Somebody put that online and it was stupid. 

Next thing is I didn't really route for a team. I love Peyton Manning. I loved the Indianapolis Colts because I was born there and they were a good team. But Peyton left and I was like well I'm going to go with him down to the Broncos. I don't care about the rest of that team. I like Peyton. I don't care bout the Seahawks either. Don't really pay attention to them. I wasn't entirely on the Broncos side either. I'm sorry about this but in my head I could see Charlie and Emmett from Twilight routing for the Seahawks. It's stupid but whatever. The Broncos still could of done better than what they did. Anyways enough about the Superbowl. 

I love my English teacher. He's a good teacher and he's very interactive and we have a good time in class. Now think about group of kids who at the beginning of the year didn't really talk and all hung out with each other. I was part of this group. I am no longer in that group. Those kids turn into monsters a little. They get to the point where they are so nice with the teacher that they become friends and feel like they can do anything.  They talk during class and just act crazy. They feel like they run the class and they get into arguments with the other kids who do the same thing and have always done the same thing. They didn't start off quiet they started off talking. 

I can't say that I haven't grown more comfortable in that class because I have. I talk more and I talk to the teacher outside of class. However I don't sit during class and talk and act like I own that class because technically none of them do. 

I don't know. This one dude that I consider my friend comes in that class with an attitude almost every other class period and just expects someone to seek him out and ask him what's wrong. Or to allow him to sit in the back and just talk the entire class period. And then he wants to get upset when someone tells him to shut up. Or when he's confused and he asks me what's happening and I don't tell him. I refuse to be someone back up plan. I'm not going to help you if you don't help yourself. It's not fair to me.  Don't just expect me to give you all the answers and allow you to copy off me. I'm not that kind of girl. 

I also don't like those people who act one way but then the next second they are different. They feel like they can talk about anything with you and they really can't. I'm sorry but your sexual life is none of my business. First of all you shouldn't be telling me this anyways. Second of all I don't want to know. I don't care about what your doing as long as you are safe, considering you shouldn't be doing it. I understand that people don't want to wait until marriage and that's fine. I realize that in today's time it's not realistic and I don't care. I still think that teenagers are too young and undeveloped to do it. It's not my business what some of my friends do. Especially those who aren't close to me. That's your personal business and you shouldn't be just telling people that and giggling and laughing about it. That's not appropriate for you to giggle about it. I think teens should wait until after high school. College it's whatever and I understand that people are you going to have sex before that and even before high school. I'm not anyone's mother and right now I don't want to be so I can't tell them what to do. I can however control what they tell me and I do not want to hear about what you do with your boyfriend of girlfriend. 

Moving on. I went to this Leadership Conference church thing with my grandparents this Saturday. It was interesting. I had some fun but this one lady made me upset. I accept the LBGT community. I respect and support them. I don't have a problem with people who don't support or accept them. I have a problem with people who don't respect them. And not even like you respect your parents or the president or whatever. I just want people to treat them like a normal person. 

So I go to this church thing and this women is talking about the metaphorical walls of a teenager. She starts talking about how homosexuality is a sin. She starts to talk about how it's being forced upon people because of their history. She talks about how much of a horrible childhood they must have for them to be "that way." She tells us that we need to lead them to the right way. 

A couple of things real quick. I don't agree with the Christian life style and I don't believe in everything they believe in. That's not to say that they aren't right or that it's stupid because it isn't. You wouldn't want anyone stepping on your beliefs so I try not to. There are times when the Christians I have in my life have been very hypocritical. I haven't had the best examples of how to be a Christian but I personally don't want to be one. 

So she's talking about this and she mentions about how on Good Luck Charlie one of Charlie's friends has 2 Mommies and how disappointed she was in Disney. I am proud Disney that they actually did this. It's interesting to see the outcome and see that Disney understands that times are changing. 

The lady mentioned how they (I don't know who they are) are trying to teach children that this is okay and it's right. 

I think that's the right thing to do. I mean to at least exposé kids to that type of lifestyle because it is becoming more common. 

Yes the parents teach the child what they want them to believe but don't go around teaching your child to just hate gays. That's when it gets out of hand. If you don't want you child to believe in that lifestyle it's not my problem just don't be mean and cruel about it. 

Would I enjoy it if everyone accepted the LBGT community. Yeah I really would but again it takes more than one person. 

Okay so can I get off my soapbox now? 

That's all I have for today unless I come back for Music Mondays or The Fosters and I doubt I will. So I'm going to go. 

MLover

Thanks for listening

Revert back to, Fangirl For a Sec.
He hasn't been to Spanish since then. I know for sure I'm over analyzing it now.
God if he found this blog... If anyone I knew found this blog...
I don't know. It'd be scary I guess
You know all those movies there are and at one point the heroine talks to the guy or vice versa and they're all like, "you dont let anyone get close to you in the first place"
Well that's not me. Not even close, actually.
I'm kind of an open book. Not even just because of this blog but just in life.
If you ask me a question, either I'll answer it or my face will show it.
And it's kind of a piss off.
I wish I realized this before I moved so I could've started over, worked on it a little bit.
But then why would I want to? I mean, is it a good thing? Can someone please tell me? Because I'm really confused. Do I want to be all secretive and stuff? Or is it okay to be so open. Because I suck at shutting people out. Seriously, I can't do it. Grudges do not work for me.
Am I rabbit trailing off the subject?
I'm just saying the drama that I don't go through anymore wasn't even about me directly. It always involved a bunch of people. And then there hasn't been drama since I left middle school. I guess we were just stupid middle schoolers, yeah?
I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that those movie moments I love so much just aren't going to happen to me.
I'm just clueless to the fact if I want it to or not.

KatCentral

Macklemore's Grammy Performance

Okay, so I went to see the comments on that video ML posted. So yes, I support homosexuality and all that. And I have my reasons.
But reading stuff like this is really wrong for a bunch of reasons.
I'm not going to discriminate against people who don't like homosexuality. I have some homophobic friends and we have accepted that they are going to have their opinions and I am going to have mine. I don't support their opinions, yeah, but I can't really shoot them down because everyone is entitled to theirs. But if the subject comes up, you can bet I will be supportive of what I believe in.
But in stuff like YouTube, where a bunch of different people from all over comment, we are going to have our differences. And I respect them wanting to express that opinion, even if they do it in a kind of hurtful way.
But there were even some gay people who didn't approve of the performance so...
Yeah those are just my thoughts

KatCentral

Macklemore's Grammy Preformance

If you didn't watch the Grammy's you missed out. I actually didn't watch it nut I a catching up and I am loving it. Macklemore's preformance made me cry. It was so sweet and kind. It was amazing. If you watch this on YouTube do not read the comments because a bunch of people just don't understand how awesome and beautiful this was. I am actually shaking I am so upset with people. This was the best preformance and just amazing. It's so awesome to see all these people.

MLover

Building Up

I have this extremely long post building up in my head, well actually it's on paper. I do so much writing out what I want to say instead of typing it and lately many people have been pissing me off so now after like maybe a week I have this post that's still in my head and slightly on paper.


I don't know how to describe it but I just really can't stand the world right now. I just want to go home and lay in my bed. I have this huge headache and my teeth hurt.


Everywhere I go someone is grinding on my nerves when they usually wouldn't. I need the weekend to come or just a holiday. I am so ready for Valentine's Day weekend. Not because it is Valentine's day but because it is a four day weekend and I just decided in my mind that I will not go over anyone's house. I might go see a movie with my nerds but I don't want to be dealing with the others people. I have to get my extra things in order and my grades.






I feel myself slipping but I don't want to fall.






MusicalLover

Fangirl For a Sec

Sooooo I watch Degrassi, whatever whatever whatever think what you will ML watches Twilight so she can't even judge me ANYWAY
I'm having a little fangirl moment over Eli and Clare, I'm watching previous episodes and God Munro Chambers acts like the perfect boyfriend except for you know when he went all bi crazy and cheated on her but I mean before all of that it was so cute!!! So cute! All right, all right, I'm done.
Okay guys so it's weird cause I keep catching Aaron looking at me and at first I was like, okay quinkydink whatever whatevs because sometimes I stare into space in the direction of a person and then they turn around and look me in the eye and I snap out of it and it's awkward but I'm not really looking AT THEM. So yesterday I was in Spanish and we got new seating so he sits like, three rows away from me and a seat in front of me so he would have to twist to look at me, right? But there I was talking to some peoples and I felt someone looking at me and naturally I know where the staring person is coming from so I looked and he looked away. It was weird.
Cause, like, he would have to twist to see me. So idk... Because if I glance at him in the hall automatically when I look away he glances back right at me. I'm pretty sure I'm over analyzing this. Like, way out of proportion but I guess I can't help it.
It's not like I can do anything about it though. Even if he liked me it wouldn't matter, Perla and Zarnez still have a thing for him and I don't go after guys my friends like. I just don't do it. Even if they say its okay it causes too much drama that I don't feel like dealing with.
But anyway, Munro Chambers is adorable. That is all.

KatCentral

My eyes

Okay having glasses and staring at a computer screen is not a good idea. My eyes hurt so bad. I just want to lay down and close them.


I'm in my class trying to out together a powerpoint for this year's black history program at my school. Guys y'all just don't understand that names and pictures are so hard to find. There a bunch of pictures but no names or dates. There are a thousand names but no pictures. It's so hard to find all these things. And plus it is depressing. I saw this picture of this black man being kicked in the face and I just wanted to cry. Plus it doesn't help that my eyes are hurting.


And now look at black people today. Lord, help us. I gotta go. I have some Advil in my purse somewhere.






MLover

Prayer

We need to pray for Kat. I feel like her mom is about to kill her. So let us pray. I don't even know how but still. 

Um... God. 

I know I don't do this a lot and I talk a lot of shit about you but I really need you to let Kat live. She can't die. Please don't let her mother kill her. 

And can you also fix my computer. I really kinda need that thing. 

How do I end this. 

Thanks. Hope you listen. 

Amen.

On a more serious note I really hope you're not in that much trouble Kat.

Love you!!!! 

So yeah. Twin powers activated!!!! 

MLover

Sometimes i think about this

okay so at first i was all, okay i like him and i know it, cool. then i realized she liked him too and that was fine and then i found out he liked her back which was still fine but yeah it hurt. her being my best friend and all. but of course i wanted them to go out i like being happy so who would i be to restrict someone elses happiness right? of course i was a little miffed she ended it after a day. but whatever, you know? and then we started texting. he was all heartbroken and i liked him so i wanted to be there for him. so we texted and talked and it was really great. i really thought that he liked me too. he said he did. and i believed him. all summer i believed him. right up until the beginning of freshman year which is supposed to be so exciting and amazing and it totally was right up until he gave HER his class ring. she gave it back of course but it was kind of my breaking point. cause that really hurt. and i cried and no one knew this until now but i cried A LOT. So i just decided to give it up because i couldnt take it if that happened again.
So listen up guys. Sometimes nice girls finish last too.

KatCentral

Really quick

I was just going to post some lyrics really quickly because this song is making me kinda sad or whatever but then I read Kat's post.

I'm not going to tell her to grow a spine. I don't even like how that sounds. I can't really say anything she said one mean thing and I called this lady I saw today an orangoutang. I'm serious this lady looked like one. And not a monkey either an orangoutang. It's mean as hell but gosh. 

And the biology teacher is just... Lord knows... She was trippin'. I know I'm not the most well behaved but still. 

Anyways let me post these lyrics so I can go to sleep. I started talking and now the feeling is gone so I have to listen to it again. Jesus Kiss Me Through the Phone by Soulja Boy came on. Yeah let me go back. Gosh why do I even have that song. Really Soulja Boy. I had to be drunk or something. 

This is I Believe by Christina Perri from her new album Head or Heart that will be released in March. I'm super excited for it because I love her and she's awesome. I love Human (another from the same album) and this song. She always has a strong message behind her songs that doesn't always deal with love and even when she does the message is still good. I just love her and her voice. 

I believe if I’d knew where I was going

I’d lose my way

I believe that the words that he told you are not your grave

I know that we are not the weight of all our memories

I believe in the things that I am afraid to see

Hold on, hold.....

I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see.

And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be.

I know that your heart is still beating, beating darling.

I believe that you fell so you can land next to me.

Hold on, hold.....

‘cause I’ve been where you are before,

And I have felt the pain of losing who you are,

And I have died so many times but I am still alive.

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday.

And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way.

I wish that you could see your scars are linked of beauty.

I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay.

Hold on, hold.....

‘cause I’ve been where you are before,

And I have felt the pain of losing who you are,

And I have died so many times but I am still alive.

This is not the end of me,

This is the beginning.

(Hold on)

(I am still alive)

"I Believe" - Christina Perri

Okay so I'm in Digital Imagery

I used to have Digital Layout but the next semester of this class is called Digital Imagery right?
So they guy I told you about who asked me out but kinda didn't at the same time?
Yeah well he has ADHD and I have nothing against people with ADHD I have a lot of friends with that disorder but ohmygosh they can't tell when someone doesn't want to talk to them. They, like, can't read the signals that show that someone is disinterested so he's here on the other side of the computer talking about crap that I really couldn't care about and it's just so annoying I can't tell him to stop talking to me cause I'm not mean like that.
I know ML is probably going to be like, grow a spine, but I just can't do it but I'm going to die in this class. The guy he used to talked to left to go to another school so now its just me who can listen to this stupid stuff.
I'm not being mean I swear the last thirty minutes have been JUST about him and his bad luck, running into walls and the critters living in his house and then it was on this girl named Hilary or something who apparently only let HIM get close to her, and no other guy and I was like "I find THAT hard to believe" but you know, I didn't say it out loud.
And even know when I am not looking up from the screen he keeps talking.
Oh God...

KatCentral

First post in forever

Okay guys, I have to say some stuff.
Firstly, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've just been busy.
Secondly, boys with puppy dog eyes drive me up the wall. I just can't. I know two boys who always make this pout-y face whenever they come across members of the opposite sex. I mean, chin down, eyes wide, batting eyelashes the whole shtick I'm just like GIVE ME A BREAK.
See now I'm mad I need a break gosh I'll be back

KatCentral

Home... Well Maybe???

Okay so I'm back down south. In at the place where I spend most months out of the year. I really want to text Kat but she's at school so I can't. 

So leaving my mom it was all bright and sunny. Cold but still. It was nice. We were joking and laughing the whole way to the airport. But then we come down here and the skies are grey and its all wet and just gloomy. My father barely talks to me the whole way from the airport. 

So when he met me at the luggage claim thing whatever he said "Hey girly." He doesn't look excited or enthusiastic or anything. He looks bored and ready to go. 

Later in the car he's mumbling to himself and he says and semi yelling at the cars in front of him, "Y'all need to go I gotta go pick up my babies."

He's talking about my little sisters. 

I know that I'm older and my father is more helpful with younger children but oh my gosh I was a little hurt. 

Sometimes I feel like the ugly stepchild. Which I am the stepchild, I'm not ugly but whatever. I feel like my father thinks that I'm just extra baggage and when in gone he's with the family. I feel like I visit him and then go home to my mother. 

I've been thinking about moving up there more and more but I could never leave my nerds or my school. I don't know. I wish it was the opposite. My mother loved down here and I would go visit my father. 

I'm just tired of feeling left out f my own home. They do all these things when I'm gone.  And when I'm here in never invited along. There's no fun in that. I feel like a freaking stranger in my own home. I don't want to feel like this. 

I'm hungry. I want some Subway... 

Huh... 

MusicalLover

Pretty Little Liars & Ravenswood

To be honest I don't really feel like trying this post but I need to get these thoughts out of my head and somewhere where I can look back. 

**Spoiler Alerts** 

I totally am pissed right now. One I think ABCFamily is promoting Ravenswood more than Pretty Little Liars. That's stupid because there would be no Ravenswood without PLL and also because PLL is one of the reasons people started watching that damn show in the first place. Another reason is because I thought PLL was going to blow my effing mind. It was okay. But Ravenswood was like woah. A lot of stuff is going to unveiled.

Ravenswood can't take the place of PLL. I mean seriously its annoying me. 

But let me talk about the shows. 

So Pretty Little Liars. Ali's alive and apparently Ezra is A. I don't believe Ezra is A. 

I watched the marathon today and I swear in every episode it appeared more and more that Ezra was A even though I had already seen those and never thought that. So it clouded my judgment maybe. I don't know. What I do know is that I read this thing online listing evidence and speculation as to why Aria is A and that Ezra might just be working for her. 

Ezra and Aria are my favorite characters so to me it's like huh. I always say you have to love the bad guy so I'm looking back and just going huh. 

And so Mona knows or at least suspects Ezra to be A and was talking to him. My face was like what. You could tell she got a little nervous when Ezra started talking about fear being a motivator and stuff. I still don't think Ezra is A but whatever. 

And so Spencer's dad wants to shut down Radley. I really think he should leave it alone. Toby got what he wanted and that was for his moms death to not be considered a suicide. 

And now we know that some random body is buried in Ali's tomb. The girl Sara that they thought was in there sounds exactly like Ali. The way her friends described her and the way Ali acts is like the same. And I don't understand why her friend came back to talk to Emily. Was that important? 

And then Hanna and Caleb break up. I can not believe that Ravenswood broke them up. Are we serious? I mean really are we serious? Ravenswood is just... 

And then we get Ali's diary and how Ali talks about the liars. We never got see what she said. So what did she say? I don't know if I can wait until next week. 

On to Ravenswood. So Miranda's dead, two people sacrificed themselves in hopes to bring original Miranda and Caleb back, Olivia's boyfriend is not on her side, and other stuff. 

Today we find that the two people who sacrificed themselves are original Miranda's mother and original Caleb's father. Miranda and Caleb were in love and when they died their parents tried to bring them back. Two life's for two life's. 

We also are told that the Collins family has something to do with the curse. I mean the preacher was working with them. He convinced the men of the town to sign the treaty. What is this all 

about??? 

And then Grindawald knows way more than she wants to let go of. And then what is that protecting her??? I mean Miranda got thrown down cause of that. 

And also I can not believe Collins is trying to get all friendly with Olivia and Luke's mother. I mean its weird. And then he's just in their house like its nothing. And why is he now trying to get close. 

And I love Remy. I love her hair and I love that it was her mother in Afghanistan instead of her father. I think there is more going on with her. She's the only one who sleep walks and has the weird dreams. I mean she saw the treaty being signed and lead Caleb and Luke to where it was signed. 

I can not believe that a pitchfork got thrown at them and then a scarecrow came. Woah. Why is this happening?

I thinks that everything. I don't know. I just have to go. My tooth hurts and I don't know why. Anyways it's almost 12:00. 

Two more things. 

Oh my gosh Kellun Lutz is Hercules in the new movie. I saw that and was like wow. 

And Vampire Academy looks like shit and they completely missed the mark. One the vampire craze is over so no one really cares. Two, the previews don't even look like it would match the book. Yes it's a book and the book was good. Well it was decent. The movie just looks like a bad porno or something and I can tell it doesn't follow the book. I'm really pissed at these movie being based of books and its like the directors or whatever didn't even open the damn book. READ THE BOOK DUMBASSES. God I'm just like... I'm so mad. All these people wanting to make movies and seriously don't even pay attention. To the people who read the books it's cool to see them come alive on screen and yeah we probably are more judgmental than those who haven't read the books but what-the-fuck-ever. I mean I feel like they don't even try sometimes. 

Movie recommendations: 

I love White House Down and 2 Guns. I really love White House Down. Not just because of Channing Tatum. I mean he's a good incentive but yeah. 

Anyways that's more than two things and its almost 12. Goodnight y'all. 

MusicalLover

Snow

Okay so I went up North for winter vacation. I was supposed to go back down south today but it just got bad. 

Okay so it snowed a lot yesterday. We had to take my younger brother back home and it was bad. Every couple of miles you would see a car stuck in a ditch. And so today there was like 8 or more inches of snow. Actually it might have been a foot of snow. It was up to my knees. And it was still snowing. It was -15 degrees where I was supposed to catch my flight and no one was flying so my flight got cancelled. 

I wouldn't have gotten there anyways. We never left the city my mom lived in. She was driving and couldn't see the road in from of her. The snow was blowing and it was just bad. The next flight we could do is Thursday so yeah. 

I have a couple more day. Most people might be happy because their missing school and I am kind of happy but missing school for me is freaking hard. You miss one day and you struggle to catch up for like the rest of the year and into the next year. Until you graduate. 

Okay so that over exaggerated but still you struggle for a while. 

Yeah. So I have to go. I'm going to take a nap. I have a bag of gummy worms next to me and a Brisk. I'm just ready. 

See you later guys!!!

MusicalLover

I hate people. 

I don't even know...

I hate when adults say, "Get ready to go" and when you're ready they aren't anywhere near being ready. If you're going to tell me to get ready to go you have to at least be somewhat ready to go. Don't start doing stupid shit cause you think I'm going to take a long time or just because. Especially if you're on a schedule and have shit to do today. 

Oh my gosh. That shit really erks me. Don't expect to be sitting in my clothes waiting for you. And then telling me to do random shit that doesn't help us leave faster. And then want to say I have an attitude. Bitch please. 

I'm ready to go and my Mom has no clothes on and hasn't done anything. She has to be somewhere at 4 and wants to get all this stuff don't before them and already 1:10 you can't slow down time. Lets go. Tired of this shit. Everybody else got that jackets on and shoes and wrapped up and she still has pajamas on. And I'm tired of her always asking me to do something. 

Go wash the dishes, go load the dishwasher, go shovel snow, get the clothes together, make a grocery list. I really want to say be a mom and do it yourself. 

Urgh. I have to go make a grocery list. 

Bye y'all. 

MusicalLover