I got home and had a shit load of homework to do. I needed to type my English essay (which is really stressing me out), finish my Pre-Cal homework (that I didn't understand so I was gonna have to use Google), write a damn short ghost story or fairy tale for theatre history, write the lyrics of a song for theatre history (copy and pasted I will print it tomorrow, not wasting time on that shit), write a poem about life or something for threaten history (took one I already wrote from Creative Writing), study for my World History test, and write another world history essay. Oh and I need to read Of Mice and Men again before Friday to prepare for my English test over that.
Yeah I'm about to go crazy. This thing was I got home and I already two fucking text. On from my friend saying she wanted me to make a photo collage for her and from another because I told him I would share my sources for my English paper with him since we did the same topic. And I had to text this other dude the world history essay prompt. The thing was I did this and told them I had stuff to do but they kept texting me back and asking questions and asking for more and bothering the hell out of my so I turned my wi-fi off because I couldn't concentrate.
I needed to get this stuff done. I don't have time to do it tomorrow and Thursday is kind of busy and I have two volunteer things this weekend. And plus its all due.
I told myself that I was going to be able to handle all of this but right now I just want to curl up in my bed and bawl my eyes out.
My brother actually had the nerve to rush me off the computer because he needed it to watch some dumbass YouTube videos. And my stepmother knew I had all of this stuff to do but she still made me clean the kitchen. My brother could have done it by himself. He isn't fucking helpless. Why do I get put in this role like I'm the fucking oldest? I'm not and I'm tired of it. He should know how to do all this stuff by himself. All he had to do was unload and load the dishwasher and wash about 6 small dishes. But no came and pulled me from my homework to help him. At first I didn't get up because I wanted to finish the problem first. When I walked into the kitchen he hasn't touched anything. He was watching another YouTube video on his phone. I could have killed him right then.
I'm really tired right now. This novel thing may not work because I don't have anytime. I would love to be able to sit down and write. And I mean actually write for me. Yeah I've written for creative writing but they have all been poems and I hate poems. The one short story I wrote, I didn't even like it. I didn't have enough time to really write it and edit it like I wanted and if it was up to me it would have been about 20 pages longer and no one wants to hear that. I don't want to read that out load.
I just want some time. I missed Ravenswood today because I had to do my homework. I'm going to watch it online sooner or later. I don't know when that will happen but we shall see.
The worst thing about it is my mom has been sending me this damn bible prayer shit and its really starting to annoy the shit out of me. I don't real them. I delete them right when I get them. I DON'T CARE! My mom wants me to be a Christian and I don't want to be one. I'm okay right now just trying to figure myself out. All of this Christian stuff is annoying me. Everyday when I get home there's one in my messages and either when I wake up or before I go to sleep. It's just like leave me the hell alone. I can't say that to her but I really want to.
Anyways as usual Work by Iggy got me through today. But I had some others that kinda helped me out later on.
Got shackles on, my words are tied
Fear can make you compromise
With the lights turned up, it's hard to hide
Sometimes I wanna disappear
When I feel kinda bad and don't want to stress
I just pass it off on ability
Well, you got what you want, and what you never knew
Perfect gift from me to you
"Houdini" - Foster The People
Sometimes I really do just want to disappear.
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
"Bad Day" - Daniel Powters
Does anyone else remember this song. Every time I have a bad day this song plays in my head. I just downloaded it onto my iPod about a week ago. It's just one of those songs that tells the truth. It's like Lazy Song. It's a #oneofthemdays song.
So it's almost 12. I have to finish a little piece of homework tomorrow and waste $1.50 printing off three copies of my rough draft for my English teacher. He needs to hope I don't make him pay my ass back. My bed looks a mess so I gotta clean it off. And then I'm going to sleep.
Hope I don't kill myself late in the night.
I'm serious.
MusicalLover.
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